When Being “Good” Burns You Out: A Self-Awareness Exercise for High-Achieving Women
- Erika Lucas
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
Burnout doesn’t always look like collapsing from overwork. Sometimes, it wears a smile.
Sometimes, it sounds like “I’ve got it” when you don’t. And often, it comes not just from doing too much but from trying too hard to be everything to everyone.
For many professional women, burnout is rooted in perfectionism and people-pleasing, patterns that are often rewarded in our workplaces and relationships, but that quietly chip away at our well-being over time.
Perfectionism convinces us that our value is measured by flawless execution.
People-pleasing trains us to meet others’ needs while ignoring our own.
Both tendencies can feel productive, even noble, but over time, they lead to chronic stress, emotional exhaustion, and the erosion of personal boundaries. If you’ve been feeling depleted, overwhelmed, or like rest is something you have to earn, it may be time to pause and reflect on what’s really driving you.
A Self-Awareness Exercise: Making Space for Your Truth
This simple but powerful reflection is one we first shared with our members in a recent session. It’s designed to help you get clear on where your energy is going and what might need to shift so you can reclaim more of it.
Set aside 10–15 minutes. Find a quiet space. Journal your honest responses to the prompts below not to fix anything, but simply to notice. Clarity is the first step to change.
1. Guided Reflection
Ask yourself:
Where do I feel pressure to perform or please?
What does rest look like for me right now and what gets in the way of it?
What am I afraid will happen if I stop doing so much?
What would I tell a close friend if she felt this way?
Write without editing. You may be surprised by what surfaces.
2. Patterns and Impact
Now, go a bit deeper:
How do perfectionism or people-pleasing show up in your work or relationships?
When have you felt the cost of doing too much, saying yes when you wanted to say no?
What does resisting these patterns look like for you?
What is one boundary, practice, or shift you’re working on?
This is not about self-criticism. It’s about compassionate noticing. These patterns often come from past experiences or cultural messaging.
3. Recommitment: Choose One Small Disruption
How will you choose rest, set a boundary, or disrupt perfectionism this month?”
Make it real. Maybe you cancel something. Maybe you say no without explaining. Maybe you let something be done, even if it’s not perfect. This is how we practice a new way of being one small choice at a time.
🎧 Listen in: In this podcast episode, we walk through this self-awareness exercise and share highlights from our recent session with members, including some of the most powerful takeaways and reflections that came up in the conversation.
You Don’t Have to Earn Rest
This reflection isn’t meant to give you more to do, it’s here to help you unlearn some of the quiet habits that lead to burnout. The more you see them, the more power you have to change them. And remember: rest isn’t something you have to deserve. It’s a right. It’s also a strategy. The women who sustain their careers, their well-being, and their joy long-term are the ones who learn to listen to themselves, even when the world is loud.
If you are ready to take your career and business to the next level, apply to join our community of professional women, all eager to help you get there and stay there. Check out our VEST Membership and apply today! www.VESTHer.co