How Perfectionism and People-Pleasing Cause Burnout in High-Achieving Women
- Erika Lucas
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
Burnout has reached epidemic proportions among professional women. The numbers tell a sobering story: 43% of women leaders report feeling burned out compared to just 31% of men at the same level. What's driving this disparity? Our powerful conversation with the VEST Team reveals two key culprits: perfectionism and people-pleasing.
Research from the University of British Columbia shows that perfectionism is strongly linked to anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. Multiple studies also show women are more likely to engage in people-pleasing behaviors at work, often out of fear of being seen as difficult or unlikable.
Join us as we dive into the science behind these patterns, exploring how perfectionism correlates with anxiety and depression, while people-pleasing gradually erodes our boundaries until we're running on empty. The most illuminating moments come when our team shares their personal struggles with these tendencies, from the pressure to be "supermoms" and "super workers" to the fear of what might happen if they stop doing so much.
We discuss what rest actually looks like in different seasons of life. For those with young children, it might be just an hour to choose what you do yourself rather than responding to others' needs. We share simple but powerful strategies: replacing "should" with "could," taking a pause before automatically saying yes, time-blocking to ensure dedicated rest periods, and perhaps most importantly, getting comfortable asking for help.
We also talked about how perfectionism and growth cannot coexist. When we demand perfection from ourselves, we create an environment where learning and authentic connection become impossible. By reframing rest not as a luxury but as an essential professional skill, we open the door to greater creativity, better decision-making, and sustainable success.
Whether you're a chronic people-pleaser, a perfectionist, or simply feeling the weight of trying to do it all, this episode offers both validation and practical tools to break these patterns. Join our conversation and discover how establishing healthier boundaries can transform not just how you feel, but how effectively you lead.
Resources
Gentle: Rest More, Stress Less, and Live the Life You Actually Want by Courtney Carver
Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto by Tricia Hersey
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet B. Braiker, PhD
Guest Bios
Gaby Eichenlaub is Program Director of StitchCrew and COO of VEST, where she leads initiatives to advance equity in entrepreneurship and the workplace. She has designed nationally recognized programs for small business owners and women professionals, featured by the White House, Fortune, and Fast Company for their inclusive and innovative approach. Gaby is an active member of NALCAB, advocating for Latino-owned businesses and sharing best practices across the sector. She began her career as a bilingual educator and held leadership roles in the fitness and wellness industry. Connect with Gaby on LinkedIn
Jae Johnson is StitchCrew Program Coordinator. As a Native entrepreneur, Jae understands the power of networks, mentorship, and resourcefulness. She plays a key role in program coordination as well as alumni recruitment and engagement, ensuring participants receive the support needed to grow. Jae has also contributed to the development of StitchCrew’s Indigenous Women Accelerator and Indigenous Beauty Accelerator in Canada, strengthening relationships with Tribal Governments, capital providers, and key stakeholders. Connect with Jae on LinkedIn
Sarah Soetarjo is Member Relations Manager at StitchCrew and serves as the primary liaison between VEST Members and external business coaches, wellness experts, and contributors featured on our programs, platforms and media channels. Previously, Sarah led member acquisition at Straits Clan, an exclusive private membership network in Singapore, where she specialized in building strong, engaged communities. With a passion for fostering meaningful connections, she ensures participants receive the support needed to grow, lead, and thrive. Connect with Sarah on LinkedIn
Erika Lucas is the Founder and CEO of StitchCrew and VEST. She is a nationally recognized advocate for women, small businesses, and economic opportunity for all. Erika also hosts the VEST Her Podcast, where she talks about the hidden challenges holding women back at work, in society, and in building wealth and highlights stories of women working to change that. Connect with Erika on LinkedIn.
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