Deep Connections Over Wide Networks

We live in a time obsessed with visibility.

Followers. Connections. Personal brands. Personal responsibility. Meritocracy.

We’re told that if we just work hard enough, build the right résumé, and know enough people, success will follow. The unspoken rule is simple: It’s on you.

And while individual agency matters, this framing leaves something critical out.

The world does not actually operate on isolated individual achievement. It runs on relationships. Not surface-level connections. Not curated visibility. But deep, reciprocal, trust-based relationships.

That's why this month, we’re focusing on something far more powerful than expanding your contact list, building meaningful and intentional connections. But first, we need to challenge the old narratives about success that are quietly working against us.

The Myth of the Self-Made Professional

In Emergent Strategy, Adrienne Maree Brown writes, “Small is good, small is all.” Reminding us that the patterns we practice at the small scale, how we relate to one another, shape the systems we live and work in. Yet in professional culture, we are encouraged to optimize ourselves as individuals:

• Improve your skills.

• Increase your productivity.

• Build your brand.

• Expand your network.

  
  

This reinforces the idea that success is the result of personal merit alone. But if you look closely at how decisions are made, who gets recommended, who gets considered for stretch roles, who hears about opportunities early, it’s relational. It’s trust. It’s reputation built over time within real relationships. The myth of meritocracy obscures the truth: access travels through relationships.

And not just any relationships. Meaningful ones.

A Rolodex Isn’t a Strategy

A modern Rolodex looks like:

• 5,000 LinkedIn connections

• A Slack community with 2,000 members

• A conference badge full of QR codes

• A calendar packed with 20-minute “coffee chats”
  

But volume is not depth. Surface-level networking often centers on utility: What can this person do for me? That approach may generate short-term transactions, but it rarely builds long-term opportunity or support.

Sustainable change, whether in movements or in careers, comes from intentional, trust-based interdependence. Not “Who do I know?”But “Who knows me well enough to advocate for me?”Not “How many people follow me?”But “Who would stand up for me in a room I’m not in?” That difference matters.

Why This Is Especially Important for Women Professionals

Many women have internalized the idea that if we just:

• Work harder

• Deliver consistently

• Keep our heads down

• Avoid being “too much”

We will be rewarded. But hard work without visibility and relational capital often leads to burnout, not advancement.

At the same time, traditional networking spaces may feel transactional, uncomfortable, or misaligned with our values. So we either over-perform alone or opt out entirely.

Deep connection offers a third path. It allows us to:

• Share information and opportunity

• Normalize struggles instead of internalizing them

• Exchange strategic insight

• Build collective leverage

• Support each other’s earning power over a lifetime

  
  

Interdependence is not weakness. It is strategy.

What “Deep Connection” Actually Looks Like

Deep connection is not constant communication. It’s not forced intimacy. It’s not oversharing.

It’s built on:

1. Consistency. Staying in touch beyond moments of need.

2. Reciprocity. Offering value, insight, and support before asking.

3. Honesty. Being willing to discuss real challenges and ambitions.

4. Advocacy. Recommending and amplifying one another in real opportunities.

5. Shared growth. Evolving together, not competing quietly.

In Emergent Strategy, Brown also talks about fractals, the idea that patterns repeat at every scale. If we practice extractive, transactional relationships at the micro level, we reinforce systems that operate the same way. If instead we practice mutual investment and care, we begin to create different outcomes, not just socially, but economically.

Rethinking Individual Responsibility

Personal responsibility matters. Skill-building matters. Performance matters. But the narrative that you alone determine your outcomes ignores how deeply relational our systems are. No one advances in isolation. No one negotiates in a vacuum. No one builds wealth without networks of trust.

It’s the small interactions that shape the larger ecosystem. The way we show up for one another professionally is not separate from how power and opportunity circulate.

If we want different outcomes, for ourselves and for other women, we have to practice interdependence intentionally.

This month, let’s focus less on being known and more on being connected. Not performatively. Not transactionally. But strategically and meaningfully. Because depth compounds. And relationships, when built with care and clarity, are one of the most underestimated wealth-building tools we have.

This is exactly why we’ve designed VEST to be more than a peer network. It’s an environment built for consistent, high-quality interaction, where you don’t just meet impressive women, but actually build with them. Where conversations go beyond surface updates. Where you have ongoing opportunities to exchange insight, share real numbers, advocate for one another, and grow alongside women who share your values.

All you have to do is show up.

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If you’re not already part of VEST, this is your invitation. We’ve built it intentionally, not as another networking space, but as a place where meaningful relationships can actually form. Where conversations go deeper. Where information is shared openly. Where advocacy is normal. Learn more at www.VESTHer.co